imageSince my dad came crashing into my life after a life time of dreaming, not knowing, imagining, puzzling who he was and where he was, we finally have that father and daughter bond.
I don’t know how I got through life without being able to pick up the phone and hear his words of wisdom, support and love.

From the very early days he nicknamed me “Twinkle”

I’ve offended wondered why, was it because I once was the twinkle in his eyes?
I asked mum the other day, her reply was, “Rose that is something special between the two of you, you best ask Dad”
So of course I did, and I was a little shocked by his answer.

So the real reason my dad calls me twinkle is……..

Ross dedicated to me, the song “Starry Eyed” by Ellie Goulding. He said that was the song that he believed summed me up as a person. This song has always been extra special to me since that day.

Dad also said he named me Twinkle because every time I spoke about Ross, had spent time with Ross, or had been talking on the phone to him, my eyes lit up like a starry magical night.
He said that my eyes would come alive like he had never seen before. He believe he could see the real me, the complete me, the whole content, happy me, just from having Ross one way or another in my life, no matter how.

I was kinda touched by this answer but wondered does he still see that in me.
Well his answer was a short one, simply a great big “NO.”
It’s sad, it’s really sad, that I can’t and guessing I never will get to shine like that again, to give my dad so much joy and pleasure.
It truly does break my heart, that I can’t light up my dads smile just by him looking into my eyes.



imageWhat is love ?
Is it just a feeling that can not be put into words ?

For me it’s butterflies in my tummy, it’s feeling that when you with the other person, you feel complete, it’s wanting to spend every minute if possible with them. It’s feeling that you belong. It’s loosing yourself in their eyes, it’s floating on ecstasy, it’s wanting to please the other, it’s putting them before yourself, wanting their happiness above everything else.
It getting lost in each others company and missing hours just because you feel at home and content in each others company.
It’s belonging.
It’s a force of nature, pulling two souls together, them lighting up your world with a single word or smile.
Love is understanding and expecting each others faults.
It’s chemistry, lust and respect rolled into one.
Love is an emotional bond, that you have no control over.
It’s the greatest feeling in the world but also the hardest.
It’s friendship with passion.
It’s two lost souls coming together to make one.

(Written by me September 2012)