The feeling you get when your partner be it your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, not only scares you but when he/she hurts you for that very first time.
No other fear is like it,
It doesn’t ever stop !!!
You never become less scared only more.
You want to give them the benefit of the dealt so you forgive and try to forget, you don’t want to believe they are capable of laying their hands on you.
You tell yourself, it’s you not them, you’re the one at fault for not loving them enough, not being worthy, not carrying out your jobs properly.
But you don’t or won’t let yourself believe that they raised their hand to you, that they made you feel weak and scared, so scared that you know you should turn away from them with your finger in the air.
But you don’t !!!
You just blame yourself instead. They scare every inch of self-worth out of you and you truly believe, you are to blame.
They make you believe.
Once they feel that power in them, it will never leave. It will only grow.
Be it a slap, a punch, grabbing you and holding you with force, it will only grow with time.
It’s like part off them is rooting inside, forming a different being which slowly takes over.
They have the power
Your this tiny soul who is scared of their own shadow as they slowly but surely grow with the power they hold over you.
Like the monster under your bed, when you give them the power by feeding them with your fear, they make you shake in your shoes, they make the dark darker, the air you breathe thicker, the light in your soul, fade faster than anything or anyone has ever done.
Fear eats slowly away at you.
Please have faith to believe that the first time won’t be the last, no matter how sorry they say they are, no matter how they try to make amends, the control the power has been felt and they will want more.
It won’t stop, it will never stop until you find your inner strength and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
DO NOT let the hidden monster win, they will never change, no matter how hard they try.
The power of fear will rear its ugly head once more, be it a day, a week, a month or a year.
The fire has been lit and it will soar.