Are goals a good thing?
I’ve set myself a lot of goals this year, in crafts and home improvements.
But right now I don’t seem to be able to get motivated to tick any of them off.
I’m not even sure if it lack of motivation. I just don’t seem to have the time and energy to sit and make anything, which bugs the hell out of me.
I have this long list, nagging away at me, the more it nags, the less I feel inspired to pick up my hook.
When and if I do, my mind turns to the diy jobs that are staring at me, or the sun shines and I day-dream of chilling in the garden with my iPod and hook, sitting snug on my new garden sofa that still sits in boxes. 📦
Have I by setting goals, caused myself stress overload?
It’s not that I’m that stressed that things just aren’t happening as fast as I would like, it’s more that fact that I feel like I’m failing myself.
I truthfully feel a failure and it’s down to my own doing.
I lay in bed while I wait for sleep to come, I toss and turn as I wind myself up, that I’m useless for not achieving what I would like, for not achieving the goals that I set myself.
If I ditch the lists, I’ve certainly failed myself, if I remove certain goals, I also have failed in some way.
The strange thing is, by fault of my own, I’ve added more and more to my crafty goal list, I’ve started a huge blanket that I just couldn’t resist. It’s a smashing blanket/afghan, or will be.
Pattern parts are realised weekly and even though week 3 will be out tomorrow, I’m still making part 2. I’m kicking myself for already falling behind, I’m already failing myself and that isn’t a nice feeling.
I know it’s not all down to day dreaming or lack of interest, it’s due to a crazy busy few weeks and no time for me time. I know that I’m not all to blame but I still have this nasty sense of failure hanging over me.
Making me question everything I do.
I feel useless, worthless and angry at myself. I don’t want to fail, I want and need to do the best I can, I need to make these bricks and mortar into a home. I need to surround my little girl in warmth and comfort, maybe even give myself a little. She loves the blankets I make her, she try’s to claim every one I make, she comes home from school and asks straight away what I have made that day. It’s important to her and that makes it even more important to me.
Am I failing her when I can’t show her, because I haven’t either had the time or energy to craft?
I feel like I am and that feeling is soul-destroying.


I will conquer

As this week seems to be full of challenges, ones that I just can’t get my head around, ones that make me feel like I’m failing, ones that are making me dealt myself and my abilities, I really need to remind myself of this.

Your mistakes and failures should be your motivation, not your excuse. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping-stones.
Mistakes teach you important lessons. Every time you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal.
The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
Failure is not falling down…failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up.
Life didn’t come with instructions. Accept that mistakes will happen.
You are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here now with the power to shape your day and your tomorrow.