Together we are

You’re the tic to my tac
and together
we’re MINT.

 

(Reminiscing)

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Two

We were given two hands to hold, two legs to walk,
two eyes to see,
two ears to listen,
but why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else for us to find.

 

(Reminiscing)

Once in a while

If your lucky enough to have a person or persons in your life that spend their time making sure your okay, the ones that would do, and do anything for you. Not because they expect something back but because they care and love you and want the best for you. You should think yourself extremely blessed to have such people in your life.

But once in a while go out of your way to show those people just how much it’s appreciated, as sometimes just the simplest thing can mean the world to a giver. Never take good people for granted.

I struggle on

Life make us look at ourselves and with every new day, I learn more about myself, be it my weaknesses or my strengths.

I have spent so many years trying to prove to myself and the rest of the world that I’m a tough girl. A girl who  says “I dont give a fuck what anyone thinks”, a girl who says “yeah whatever” but in reality I’m soft, to bloody soft. 

I have always worried about what people think, about the person that I am, about whether or not people like me. I struggle with new people and even those that are close. 

I build defences and push away, I go quiet and may come across as rude, bolshy or stuck up but in reality it’s shyness wrapped in defences.

I panic when asked about the future and I don’t make plans through fear of not delivering. I believe they call that anxiety. 

I am spontaneous or rather I do spontaneous because I’m looking to far ahead sets me on edge. 
I live for the here and now in detriment to the future.

I achieve mostly what I start and have high standards when it comes to myself, almost to the point sometimes I could be pushing pedantic. Yet there is so much I don’t acheive through the fear to start. 

I can go from positive to doubt in the blink of on eyelid. I especially doubt myself given the time to think and it makes me a terrible procrastinator so always function best when kept busy. However if you tell me I can’t do something I’ll often go out my way to prove I can.

I’ve always try to do  better in myself, rather than being content and thus never satisfied and always beating myself up. This is especially true when it comes to providing for others. I want to give the best to those I love because it makes me feel good and get frustrated when I can’t.

But when the day is over and the new day is dawning, I struggle on.

Would you? Would I?

Would you recognise me?

Life with all its troubles, all its joys, all its sadness, all its smiles and all it’s laughter, changes you, changes me.

With every frown, every smile, a new line of experience forms beautifully on your skin, my skin.

Every tear, every loss, every grief, darkens the light glowing from your soul, my soul. It echoes in your eyes, my eyes, fading that twinkle that once radiated life.

With every comfort eat, adding inches to your waist, my waist or with pain so deep, you just can’t swallow, loosing your cuddliness, my cuddliness, as the inch’s fall away.

Would you recognise me?

More importantly, do I ?