Tag Archives: hands of time

Vanished

Posted by Rose on

Where o where is the time going?
With a blink of the eye, a week seems to just vanish. A week that I achieved absolutely jack.
I have no idea where it went or even what I did, all I know is it was a painful one and a week to be grateful to the wonderful people in my life.
Without them my darling daughter would have gone crazy with boredom.
There is only so much one person can take, watching their world in pain.
All I can say, is god damn you teeth and dentist.
My one and only wisdom tooth has been giving me so much pain that I’ve been in a constant morphine state, which brought with it vomiting like I’ve never experienced before. 🤢
Thankfully yesterday he took the bugger out and omg the pain now is worse than before. 😫
But it’s out and healing.
I’ve forgotten how food tastes, I’ve been dreaming of coffee ☕️ and screaming at the so-called greater good to give me a rest bite from toothache.
Why on earth do they call it toothache? It should be called torture of the worst degree.
I swear blind that it has to be the worst physical pain out there. How can one tiny tooth, hurt your entire head, even you eye sockets feel like someone has them in a vice, tightening it every millisecond. Your ears feel like they are bleeding with the pressure, everything about it, is awful.
What gets to me the most is, it’s not even through lack of caring for them, I have always taken get care of my teeth, I’ve spent a small fortune having them capped, along with that dreaded six month check up and hygienist visit.
All I can say is thank goodness for denplan.

After seeing the price of dental work it’s no wonder that we live in a generation of bad teeth.
Your teeth are so important and we see more and more people with stained brown smiles.
It’s a sad state of affairs, truly it is.
I’m more than grateful for the NHS, I would be lost without it but even the nhs dentists charge the earth for a filling. People just can’t afford to pay to keep their smiles up together.
It’s beyond sad.
It’s almost like we have taken a trip back to the Victorian times, were only the rich could have that beautiful white teethed smile.
How can the world change by the day as we soar into a future of the most amazing inventions and still we have people who can’t afford to visit the dentist, not only that, but we have the working class using food banks. ☹️
What is becoming of us and what on earth does this world hold for our future generations?
Free Dental Treatment Please 😜

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Flashback Friday

Posted by Rose on

It’s FRIDAY, but more importantly it’s Marly-Kate’s birthday. 🎂
Happy Birthday, you’re the light on dark days, the laughter in my belly, the sun on rainy days, you’re my world little lady and mummy loves you more than words can ever say. ❤️
Marly-Kate and I have had a trying road since she came into this world 10 weeks early. We’ve shown strength, determination, and somehow we’ve beat the odds and survived, which we will keep doing, giving the birdie along the way.

In truth the first year was so incredibly hard but more so, scary. Throughout it all she’s shown me so much about life, love, and true determination.
My girl never lets life get her down, she stands tall and proud and gives it her all and even though her heart gives her a run for her money, she won’t let it beat her or get her down, she gives her all and I couldn’t be any prouder of her. She truly is a beautiful spirit with so much light and love to give, she pretty damn amazing.
I would say she’s going to make some extremely lucky guy very happy in the future but that’s not happening at least until she 50+. 😜

So my week, well I don’t want to get into that right now as today is a happy day. I have managed to finally finish a project I’ve been working on and I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. To be totally honest, as I made the last row of stitches, I filled with emotion at all the memories, trails and tribulations that have been stitched into the blanket. It’s been on my lap through, laughter, joy, dark days and sun filled days. It’s funny how those skeins of yarn, have turned into something so meaningful and I would even say beautiful, every square made holds a memory, be it of joy fear or sadness, everyone is special somehow in its own right.
I not to sure where it’s travels will take it now, who it will keep warm on those chilly evenings, who it will wrap up in a hug but I do know that who ever I gift it to will not just been given a blanket but a part of my heart, my life, my memories.

So anyway the hands of time have travel over 168 hours and that means it’s time to rewind those hands and look back to the memories imbedded in these pages, so I’ll wish you a spectacular weekend and leave you with this weeks flashback.
Be happy, be true, be you.

❤️❤️❤️

“The cure for anything is salt water – sweat, tears, or the sea.”

I had the most different weekend, relaxing in away even though I carried out blue work as I call it.
Farming is a blue job for sure, kinda fun though.
Put that aside for the minute as I want to blog about that at a later date.
Yesterday was Marly-Kate’s birthday. I can’t believe she is two already. My little princess is growing up so fast, I hate it. I want to keep her this young forever.
Mk has the best little personality, she is cheeky, happy, and full of life.
She’s into everything. She is delicious in every way.
She never stops smiling unless she needs to sleep and runs rings around me, where she gets her countless energy from is beyond me.
Mk is beautiful to a fault. Her cheekiness along with stubbornness oozes from her. You can’t help but to smile at her even when eating sheep poo and she laughs at you when you tell her no. She such a pickle.
Well for her birthday, I wanted to do something but her main birthday treat will be a day out with Ross, hopefully in the next few weeks but I couldn’t let the day just pass without doing anything.
I had a long drive ahead of me so thought that we would spend the day by the sea half way between home and my dads.
It was a beautiful day, cooler than it has been, so we head off to Lyme Regis, one of my favourite places.
I love this little seaside town.
Marly isn’t a great lover of sand so the first hour was fun to say the least, she just kept climbing back into her buggy.
She wasn’t having any of it, finally though she gave in as she wanted to get to the water.
She loves the sea, she plops herself down on the edge of the water, nappy and all and giggles every time a wave splashes her.
That was her set for the few hours we sat there.
She didn’t move, and just laughed louder and louder.
She was one happy little girl.
I can’t say my bro had such an easy time with his son Mitch though, he was running around everywhere, sand throwing, eating sand and trying to rock climb. He’s a cute little thing, don’t think his mummy and daddy thought so at the time though. No relaxing for them

When it came to crabbing, Marly was scared to death, don’t think we will be doing that again anytime soon.
So back to the beach we go and all laughs again.
All in all, it was a lovely day, one that I hope she will remember.

Who am I

Posted by Rose on

Seeing someone you care about in so much emotional torment is extremely heartbreaking and in truth I’m not coping with it as well as I should.
This lad looks to me as his mum, his friend and his guild and I’m struggling to find the right way to help him.
I’ve listened, I’ve cried with him, I’ve said all the right things but still I can’t get him to see reason, he’s still a fragile mix of emotions.
This morning around 5am I lost my cool with him. I said a few home truths that needed to be said, in hope to snap him out of the depression that crushes his normal high spirits.
I wasn’t cruel, I just told him to snap out of it, that life goes on no matter what is happening in our lives. We can’t stop time, we can’t stop rumours, we can only change the way we handle situations.
If only the hands of time would stop and let us heal, if only.

I now feel extremely guilty that I lost my cool and that the tears that welled came streaming down his pained face.
Was I wrong to try to get him to see how cruel the world can be at times and that no matter how broken we are, we just need to solider on through.
Am I wrong to be telling him that life is worth living and fighting for, when most days I struggle myself with that concept, when most mornings I fight with myself to get out of bed and face another day, so lost in grief and heartbreak that I can’t dare to carry on.
Who am I to reassure him when I feel the same as he does.
I guess when you love or care about someone, be it family, friends or a life partner, you have to push your own feelings aside and give them as much strength and support as they need.
I know with Marly-Kate or Ross (when I could) I would go to the ends of the earth to protect, love and support them so without a shadow of a dealt I will do the same for my baby cousin.
I just need to dig a little deeper and find the strength to help him through.

💔💔💔

 

 

 

Imagine  credit to ABC123art

Flashback Friday

Posted by Rose on

img_3904The clock hands have been ticking, spinning around just like life does to many. I find my self another week older, maybe even wiser, definitely more humble and grateful for life’s little wonders and even though it’s been a long week, we somehow all made it through.
The weekend is upon us and freedom dances in the shadows. Winter has taken hold and beauty flickers in the crisp frozen mornings and the clear cold star lit nights.
How I love those cold, magical winter mornings, that let you see all different kinds of magic, as the day twinkle’s to life.
As I sit snuggled in my pj’s, under an ever so cosy blanket and watch the most enchanting series, which has me glued to the sofa, my mind is alight with imagination of how my life would have been all those years ago.
If only time machines existed, I would definitely roll back the hands of time and relive history.
History to me, is absolutely fascinating but while I lose myself in my own imagination, I know that mine is written in these pages and that is pretty special.
So as today is fastly becoming yesterday while the hands of time stop for no one, I best share with you a page of my own book of life and share a memory, it’s flashback Friday after all……

I have had the great honour of having a wonderful energy bought into my life and I wanted to thank her for being as special and wonderful as she is.
Friends are easy to come by but the true loving ones are hard to come by and when you find someone who you find to be an amazing, caring , a loving one, I think you are very lucky.
She has given me more hope, love and friendship than even my family and I class her as one of mine, she stands on higher ground than most of them.
I know I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her listening ear and her heart.
Her words have pulled me through the darkest days and I owe her my life in many ways.
What makes her even more special is she stood by our friendship when she could have shut me out when others did.
So I want to thank you for not giving up on me, for putting up with my tears and my broken heart and for being more than a friend and family.
You are one amazing person and I luv you loads.
I hope that our friendship never loses what it has and grows through out the years.
Thank you, thank you so much for being you and being there.

Flashback Friday

Posted by Rose on

Moving the Hands of a ClockRolling back the hands of time,something I wish I could do for real, god if only I could, I would be waking up in the arms of the one man who has my heart hook line and sinker. I would be the happiest person alive. Life would be the way it was meant to be, the way I wish it was.
But here I am alone, unloved and trying my hardest to get by without him.
That’s why I like doing Flashback Friday, it reminds me of how happy I once was or shows me that I’m still alive and kicking, doing what I canto get through the day without letting my walls down.
So here is a little flashback to my life and thoughts from a year ago today. Enjoy 😃

Pinterest.

https://icemaidendiaries.net/2015/01/29/pinterest/

As the world has hit an all time high of living their life’s through a computer, YES we are all guilty of this.
The Internet is so very powerful, everything you need at a click of a mouse.
Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Google + have taken the world by storm and we all lose hours if not days staring at posts made by random people as well as friends and family.
But that’s another blog post to come.
I want to talk about Pinterest today as its kinda my biggest time waster but also it has opened up my mind and changed my life in a small way.
I know right, how can it change a life.
Well it can.
It’s a place where I can store ideas, open up my imagination and a space that makes me want to better myself and with a mix of YouTube thrown in for good measure, I have archived that in a small way.
Pinterest has opened a world to me that at this stage in my life has been my saving grace.

Growing up, I was made to feel small, unworthy and just damn stupid, this has affected me more than I released and if I think back, it has left scars so deep I don’t know if I will ever believe in myself fully.
My own self-confidence has always been at an all time low, thanks to teachers and parents alike that told me “you are thick, you will never achieve anything”
Those worlds can destroy someone with out you ever knowing it.

So this is where Pinterest comes into play.

There are so many activities on there that you can make, build and learn.

I guess I kinda got into it, when the current house I live in which going to have a big extension.
I spent hours looking at room designs and I mapped out every room in my house.
I then moved onto the garden, which I even started and enjoyed doing, that’s until next doors fences blow down and destroyed all my hard work, as well as pup digging to Australia.
Roll on spring and maybe if I’m still here I can once again, bring the garden back to life.

As my health is poor and I don’t get out much these days apart from hospital visits, I decided I needed something to do, to keep me from going out of my mind at home.
This proved to be harder than I thought, my low self-esteem hit an all time low as I struggled to make or do anything that I wanted to try.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it, it’s the fact that I have had it drilled into me, that I couldn’t that held me back.
I really believed I couldn’t.
Something clicked one day and my mindset changed and determination took over, I wasn’t going to be beat.
I worked hard and watched YouTube over and over again until I got it.
I will admit though, at times I wanted to throw everything out the window.
But I didn’t and I finally made something, all by myself.
I was pleased as punch.
I actually made something.
Now my cleaned out cupboards (ready to move) are now filled with fabric, wool, glue, paint boards etc, etc.

I have something to take my mind off all the crap in my life and a way to escape life but in doing so I get to see smiles on people’s faces when I make them a pressie.
And to top that, I have found a part of me that I never knew I had in me.
I’ve proved myself wrong and I achieved something that I believed I couldn’t.
That is a great feeling even with the great big hole it makes in my bank account.
But who cares about that when I see the joy on others faces and I feel the pride in my heart.
Thanks Internet, YouTube and Pinterest for opening up the world to me and somehow making my like a little brighter.