New possibilities

imageAs I am spending way to many hours wired up to machines having my blood flushed out of me for a trail for lupus, my mind is a constant roundabout, emotions seem to be getting the better on me. I have way to much time to think and positivity isn’t my mindset no matter how hard I try for it to be.

So I decided to push my limits and try to learn and create something new. Which to my surprise is going well, I feel a little chuffed with what I have achieved so far. Considering I have never done anything like this before and if I’m honest I never saw myself doing it either.

Opening my mind to learning has saved me from many dark times. It’s given me a little bit of self-worth and made me relies that learning is what life is all about.
When you stop learning you stop living a meaningful life. This is the truth.
Life’s richness does not come from always residing within familiar and comfortable territory. It’s when you venture out, away from the familiar, that you grow stronger and more capable.
You must hold tightly to your core values while at the same time opening your heart and mind to new ideas, feelings and experiences. Your own perspective will become clearer when you look at things from different angles. Find ways to provide a healthy challenge to your current understanding of life, and you will discover and experience far more of life’s magic.
No matter how small the achievement is, someway or another it helps you grow and opens doors to new possibilities.

The world at our fingertips

imageHaving my baby cousin lodging with me while he goes through college has opened my mind to how much life has changed since I was a teenager.
Mostly for the better but also not.
It’s made me wonder how my own life would have been with the freedom, the knowledge, the free speech that teenagers have today.

If I had sat down with my step dad and talked through the topics that myself and my baby cousin do, I think I would have had the belt across my back side and spent weeks in my room walking on eggshells.
Teenagers really don’t know how lucky they are.

School – wow if I could go back now, I think I may even learn something.
The help these kids get is amazing. No longer are they just thick and told they will not amount to anything. (the story of my school life)
These kids are given laptops and full use of spell check. No more are dictionaries thrown across the room at you while being shouted at to look it up. They also have a one to one helping them if they need it.
Gone are the days were education is just the standard English, English literature, Math, Science, Art, Drama and PE.
They have the world at their finger tips with trips to college to start NVQ’s in what ever they fancy and b techs that from what I have been told are sometimes a higher level than GCSEs and NVQ’s, strange that they don’t count as the c and above grads that you need to get into college.
Gone are the days of trips to the library to look stuff up for homework, waiting lines for photocopiers so you can take your information home with you.
Now you have the world at your fingertips.
The biggest change of all !!! 😀
When I was a school we had this huge, I mean huge computer that had to be wheeled around the school and yeah there was only one for a good few years. In the last few year we got one computer room and boy that seemed like heaven.
Now every home has one, it no longer jams up the phone line and doesn’t take a good half hour or more to load. But still we all swear away at the Internet for not being fast enough 😝

There are no more days of sneaking out for the crafty cigarette that you spent your dinner money on to buy. If your old enough you have a dedicated smoking area. (guess it could take the fun out of not getting caught, I swear that’s why half of us did it. We were breaking the rules which was always fun.)

The biggest change I would say is that the children are treated with respect and as adults almost like friends.
The stories I have heard about my cousins teachers are very interesting to say the least.
I give my up most respect to teachers, they must have one of the hardest jobs in the world.
30+ children in one room that more than likely only want to be there for their social life’s, that know that the worst you can do is send them to the head and maybe get time off school or one to one in isolation.
A huge high-five to all you teachers and class room assistants, your all saints in my book.

Knowing all this would YOU go back?

I have been looking

imageAll my life I have been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, I was naïve.
I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer.
It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with……
I am nobody but myself.

Life is a continuous school

imageDon’t let fear of embarrassment stop you from trying something new. Sometimes we withhold ourselves from novelty because we’re afraid some people might call us silly or stupid. Shying away from trying something new stops your growth and your evolution. It stops you from acquiring new skills and knowledge.

Life is a continuous school.

Don’t miss out on opportunities to learn something enriching. If you think your new project might seem ridiculous to some people, turn those thoughts around in a funny or a disarming way, and go ahead and take the classes that interest you. And if people judge you for it, feel sorry for them, for simple minds are usually amused by simple things.

I have been trying a lot of new things over the last year and I have to say that even though I learn differently to others, and everything seems to take a little longer for me to master until I do it my way and then it just clicks.
Giving my mind something other than pain to think about has helped me more than I ever thought.
It’s has far from fixed me but has given me a little peace. To me that is a very good thing.


imageAs the world has hit an all time high of living their life’s through a computer, YES we are all guilty of this.
The Internet is so very powerful, everything you need at a click of a mouse.
Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Google + have taken the world by storm and we all lose hours if not days staring at posts made by random people as well as friends and family.
But that’s another blog post to come.
I want to talk about Pinterest today as its kinda my biggest time waster but also it has opened up my mind and changed my life in a small way.
I know right, how can it change a life.
Well it can.
It’s a place where I can store ideas, open up my imagination and a space that makes me want to better myself and with a mix of YouTube thrown in for good measure, I have archived that in a small way.
Pinterest has opened a world to me that at this stage in my life has been my saving grace.

Growing up, I was made to feel small, unworthy and just damn stupid, this has affected me more than I released and if I think back, it has left scars so deep I don’t know if I will ever believe in myself fully.
My own self confidence has always been at an all time low, thanks to teachers and parents alike that told me “you are thick, you will never achieve anything”
Those worlds can destroy someone with out you ever knowing it.

So this is where Pinterest comes into play.

There are so many activities on there that you can make, build and learn.

I guess I kinda got into it, when the currant house I live in which going to have a big extension.
I spent hours looking at room designs and I mapped out every room in my house.
I then moved onto the garden, which I even started and enjoyed doing, that’s until next doors fences blow down and destroyed all my hard work, as well as pup digging to Australia.
Roll on spring and maybe if I’m still here I can once again, bring the garden back to life.

As my health is poor and I don’t get out much these days apart from hospital visits, I decided I needed something to do, to keep me from going out of my mind at home.
This proved to be harder than I thought, my low self esteem hit an all time low as I struggled to make or do anything that I wanted to try.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it, it’s the fact that I have had it drilled into me, that I couldn’t that held me back.
I really believed I couldn’t.
Something clicked one day and my mindset changed and determination took over, I wasn’t going to be beat.
I worked hard and watched YouTube over and over again until I got it.
I will admit though, at times I wanted to throw everything out the window.
But I didn’t and I finally made something, all by myself.
I was pleased as punch.
I actually made something.
Now my cleaned out cupboards (ready to move) are now filled with fabric, wool, glue, paint boards etc etc.

I have something to take my mind off all the crap in my life and a way to escape life but in doing so I get to see smiles on people’s faces when I make them a pressie.
And to top that, I have found a part of me that I never knew I had in me.
I’ve proved myself wrong and I achieved something that I believed I couldn’t.
That is a great feeling even with the great big hole it makes in my bank account.
But who cares about that when I see the joy on others faces and I feel the pride in my heart.
Thanks Internet, YouTube and Pinterest for opening up the world to me and somehow making my like a little brighter.