Its almost like

When I let my mind wander, to the time I was truly happy, this one song always comes on randomly. It’s almost like I’m being told to stop torturing myself, that Porter is up there somewhere looking out for me.

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Healing

Random thought of the day.

Healing is NOT an overnight process. It takes time. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re finally starting to heal and you’re happy again, the wound will reopen. Don’t give up, don’t get discouraged, some wounds will never heal completely. Take each day 1 step at a time and just try to be in a better place mentally than you were yesterday.

Would you? Would I?

Would you recognise me?

Life with all its troubles, all its joys, all its sadness, all its smiles and all it’s laughter, changes you, changes me.

With every frown, every smile, a new line of experience forms beautifully on your skin, my skin.

Every tear, every loss, every grief, darkens the light glowing from your soul, my soul. It echoes in your eyes, my eyes, fading that twinkle that once radiated life.

With every comfort eat, adding inches to your waist, my waist or with pain so deep, you just can’t swallow, loosing your cuddliness, my cuddliness, as the inch’s fall away.

Would you recognise me?

More importantly, do I ?

Love wins

People mess up, mistakes, huge earth shattering mistakes happen, anger burns deep within our souls and deeper within our hearts. 

Darkness surrounds the once shining light of happiness as the soul bleeds out tears of despair. 

But within the suffocation, love holds strong, fighting, willing and longing to be the strongest emotion. 

Pushing up, lighting the darkness, forgiving the unforgivable.

Love wins.

It wasn’t jealous, it’s something totally different

It wasn’t jealous, it’s something totally different. It was a pull on the heart-strings watching mother and son connect so beautifully, a connection I had only dreamt of.
A bond so special you could feel it by just being in the room with them.
I hadn’t felt that feeling before and while it made my heart ache just a little knowing I had never had that, it warmed my soul to see such a special relationship, I felt pride and overpowering love for the man who stood before me and his loving union he shared with his Mum.
When she opened her heart to me, not only as a friend but as kind of  a daughter, it was overwhelmingly special, a connection I didn’t know I was missing.
That wonderful time in my life, I felt more at home than I ever had before, I felt complete, alive, in love, at home.
A feeling I’m sure only comes to a few in a lifetime.
How lucky I was to have felt that if only for a while.

And now we’re really cooking with gas.

There’s nothing quite like sitting around with friends having great conversations over a delicious meal. Add some wine or beer (because we’re fancy like that) and now we’re really cooking with gas.

There is something special about sitting around the table to eat the meal you have just slaved away at for hours so you can fill you friends and family’s tummy’s.
Every week we make a point of all getting together for a good old feast, a chinwag and what every drink tickles your fancy.
We’ve been doing this since I returned from Paris and I have to say it’s probably the best day of the week for Marly-Kate and I.
Marly-Kate loves having everyone around, they all give her so much love, attention and time, to her they are her family.
That’s the main reason we started our feast night, so Marly-Kate could get a sense of what family life feels like.
As it just her and me and of course my baby cousin, it’s so easy just to slump in front of the tv with your dinner on your lap. I don’t want that for her, I want her to feel how dinner time should really feel.
The conversation, the smell of homemade food, the smiles, the laughter, the warm feeling that you get when all the family comes together, I want her to experience that and to hold warm memories.
Also when we get to eat good old dominos while chilling in-front of the tv, it’s special in its own way. 🍕

Though our family is spread over thousands of miles from Devon to Paris to Spain it’s not always easy to show her what family really means, that’s why feast night is so very important.
She understands that family isn’t all about blood, that it’s about the people who are never far from your side, it’s about the people who are there through the good and the bad, it’s about friendship, respect and love.
Family to us is coming together and enjoying a good meal not forced by blood but because we actually want to spend time together.