Those moments

Don’t ever feel or call yourself ugly because you don’t really see yourself for who or what you really are.
You don’t watch yourself sleeping, curled up and silent with your chest is rising and falling to your own rhythm.
You don’t see yourself reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing, lost in the adventure that’s captivating your mind.
You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love inside your heart, that love twinkling in your eyes and passion oozing from your soul.
You can’t see yourself when you’re laughing and smiling, when happiness is leaking out of you.
You would know exactly how beautiful you are if you saw yourself in those moments, the moments when you are the most beautiful, the most you. ♥

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No, no, no

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas 
Ev’rywhere you go; 
Take a look in the five-and-ten, glistening once again 
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow. 
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, 
Toys in ev’ry store, 
But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be 
On your own front door.

No, no,no, it’s only November!!!
Every other advertisement on the telly is about Christmas, Marly-Kate is already thinking about Santa coming down the chimney and the letter she wishes to write.
Shops are playing carols and every weekend is filled with Christmas party’s and hangovers.
While I’m pulling my hair out, it’s just to soon for all the hype and fake jolliness that starts way to early.
Maybe I’m a little burg humbug when it’s comes to this time of year, it’s not the fact I don’t like Christmas 🎄 because I do in my own little way. I love the shimmer of the Christmas tree, the roaring fire, the excitement in Marly-Kate’s eyes as she runs downstairs to see if Father Christmas has come down our chimney. Christmas to me, reminds me of the people I’ve lost, the people who I wish were by my side watching Marly-Kate nearly burst with pure joy as she watches others open the presents she has either brought or made them.🎁
To me it’s a really sad time of year.
I think of the homeless, the people who for one reason or another can’t be with their loved ones, the lonely soldiers, the elderly widow whom would do anything just to have their lost loved one by their side for just one more day. The poor orphans whom only have one wish, to have a mummy or a daddy they can call their own.
So this year, I’m going to try to make a difference, even if in the grand system of things won’t even begin to make a dent in the cruel world we live in.
This year with every gift I buy, I will buy a second, with every gift I make, I’ll make another.
Marly-Kate and I will gift these to children who have no presents under the tree, the elderly lady or gent who cries silent tears for the life and love they once had, the homeless who need a reminder that they are no forgotten by giving them a little warmth, be it a hat, a scarf or a blanket, a warm coffee or a steaming hot meal.
This Christmas I’m giving back, why don’t you join me. 🎁

Hold on

I’m not sure if I have shared this before, I think I must have, I feel the need to share it again, with two suicides in the last month, friends that are struggling and the winter months ahead that seems to bring with darker moods, I really do feel like I should share a little of my journey. Hopefully it may at least help someone, anyone who feels lost, alone and scared of the emotional torment they are facing.

🌹🌹🌹

There comes a time in one’s life that no matter how happy you are, how good you feel and you have the world in your hands, Darkness takes over.
Not to long ago my life was turned upside down by postnatal depression and panic disorder. Lucky now I have mostly beat my battle against these illnesses.
But if my words can help just one person to over come depression and find the strength to fight, know they are not the only ones who are going through this, that you will come through it, I don’t mind putting it out there for the world to see.

Looking back now, I see that my own pain caused many others to feel pain to, and even though at the time, I could only see my own, I am deeply sorry for any distress I have caused. I never meant to hurt any one.

Life was on a good roll when depression hit for no reason, there was not a single trigger, I guess I had been strong for too long and been isolated and out of socialization for many months and when it came to the crunch of getting back out into the world, I couldn’t master the strength to face it.
I will never understand why I fall so deep and I let the darkness take over my life, why I hurt and cut myself. All I knew at the time was every cut let out the darkness, every physical pain, took away the emotional pain that filled my body.

Getting help is one of the hardest things to do. But trust me, it has to be done. I swear that without the support of my absolutely gorgeous, kind, caring, loving other half, my family and friends, I would not be here today. Yes it got that bad that all I wanted to do was end my life.
I see now that life is worth living and the fight to Live is worth it.

Nothing is that bad you can’t carry on. You will always find the strength to battle on.
And if in dealt look at you friends, family and see the pain in their eyes and remember that if you leave them that even though your pain my be gone, you have left many with heartache and loss.
Can you really do that to the people you love ?

Talk to your closest friend or your family, tell them how you are feeling and they will help you through.
True friends will always be there for you no matter what and as I learnt through the bad times you soon find out who cares and who doesn’t. And even though this adds to the depression, it is a good thing, you will see people walk away but you have learnt a true lesson about friends and what you have left is the valve of friendship, you have no more snakes in the grass.

My advise to you, is to talk.
Talk is the key, even if that is talking to a stranger, also listen to their advise.
Happy pills may be the answer to. I always disagreed with those until I was made to take them.
They put my in a bubble which helped me get through the day.
So in a way they saved me to.

When in dealt about yourself, grab yourself a pen and paper and write two lists,
one of what good you bring to others and the world and the other what you think your faults are.
9 out of 10 your first list will win. You can even do this with friends and you will watch that list grow.

The main key is to believe in yourself. Stand tall and grab the darkness by the balls and say NO MORE.

Hold on and life will once again look beautiful to you.
Live, love and learn.
Isn’t that what life is for ?
Enjoy the ride with its ups and downs and remember to laugh and smile, because these two things are soul savers.
Nothing beats laughter.

My final advise to you all is, that when you see a status on here that seems depressed please think twice before calling that person crazy or thinking they are just wanting attention. That person could really need your help. Be a mate and take two minutes out your day and show them your there. I’m sure at some point in your blissful lives you will need a friend to. Be a friend yourself as you could save a life.

The smallest pleasures

Sometimes, we put too much passion on the biggest dreams and priorities in life that we fail to love the smallest pleasures from simple things. We search so much for the right choices, for the right paths to walk through, for the right time and for the right reasons.
But life isn’t about searching for the things that can be found. It is about letting the unexpected happen and finding things you never searched for.