People have searched for centuries to find the right way to say
“I love you”
But I found, no words are really needed.
A look, a touch, a smile, a kiss, can say everything, we as humans are incapable of saying.
Let me tell you a true story, about a boy and a girl, who’s love was pure and unbreakable.
The girl worked in a hotel on the Isle of weight, working to bring much need pennies home to her parents, which would help feed and clothe her 8 siblings.
And a boy who worked on the steam cruise liners, making as much money as possible to give his love all her heart desires.little did he know, all she desired was him.
As Eileen carried out her daily tasks, her one true love Reg would swim five miles around the bay, just to wave hello to Eileen the girl he would marry.
He would swim everyday to wave to her upon the shore or just to catch a glimpse of her beauty, to let her day be filled with the overwhelming feeling of being loved.
A love that only grow as the grow older, a love that would bring a daughter and many years of marital bliss.
A marriage cut shot by ill-health and the passing of the Eileen’s only love.
A love that brought her peace upon her death-bed as they once again were reunited.
Love doesn’t need words, love hold no boundaries, love is beautiful and fills you with warmth, tenderness and belonging.
Every little girl dreams of her perfect wedding 👰🏻
And yes I was the same as all the others, I wanted to marry my one true love, I wanted to be whisked off my feet and live that happy ever after that all the fairytale’s tell us about.
My wedding was a nightmare come true, I married for all the wrong reasons and apart from that being a mayor down fall, his family were a nightmare. Everything I wanted I didn’t have, they took over all the planning and would have even picked my dress if they could have gotten away with it.
Not that I really cared that much, I just wanted to get away from my stepfather. Unlike the fairy tales I had an evil stepfather, I was doomed from the start, lol.
I’m sure as sure, I didn’t have the wedding I had dreamed off.
That would have meant I married someone I loved. As I child I dreamed of marrying my soul mate, the person I loved most in the world, I didn’t really picture a wedding, just that I would live that happy ever after with my soul mate.
Looking back now, I should have known my marriage would end, that I wasn’t meant to marry him.
Something huge was missing.
On the way to the wedding shouldn’t I have been bursting with happiness instead of dread and tears. I cried all the way there and it probably was one of the hardest days of my life, the worst day of my life up until that point.
I realised a few years ago what it should have felt like, been like, I should have felt every emotion of love and friendship that can ever be felt. To grin from ear to ear, so much so it hurt to smile. To feel so full of love that you could easily burst.
I know this now because I’ve felt it, I’ve truly felt it. And still all we did was talk about our wedding.
Just us talking about our future gave me the most beautiful feeling, a feeling only for wedding days.
I don’t know how to even begin to even describe it. No words can match it, no worlds are beautiful enough, no words have meaning enough.
I know from even before I met Ross that he was the one I should have married, that he was the other half of my soul. He gave me all those wedding day emotions over and over again.
And even though we never got to live out the wedding we had talked about many, many times, he gave me those magical feelings every single day that we were together and even when we were apart, even before we had met, and I can not thank him enough for loving me, for loving us and for giving me the wedding feeling, for giving me in his own way the dream that we all dare to dream.
I’ve often wondered why I can feel so lonely when I’m with a room full of friends.
How can I feel so very alone, even though I never seem to be.
That the world is constant noise and I’m the voice that is lost and drowning out.
How come even though I feel so alone, all I want to do is jump on a jet plane and run away so I can be alone.
Screwed up isn’t it.
But then it clicked!!!
No matter how far I run, no matter how many people I have around me, no matter how loved I am, I’ll never feel unlonely because he’s not here. The better half of myself is not here. My soul mate isn’t here.
In truth I’m not lonely or alone, I’m just incomplete.
Once again there are no posts to flashback to on the 13th May ( No it’s Friday the 13th)
So today I’m going to share with you a flashback to a song that my friend Dan wrote for me about the love I have for me soul mate.
Dan is so very talented and to top that the nicest person.
The funny thing is, it wasn’t me that found his music it was Ross who dedicated one of his songs to me, it’s funny that now Dan has written a song about us.
I think that’s kind of beautiful.
So without further ado I give you……
Flashback Friday is here again.
This one means the world to me and brought tears rolling down my cheeks.
I guess this is why I wrote my journals for Ross and why I blog so I never will forget days like these.
You wrote this to me today and WOW just WOW you summed up how I feel for you perfectly.
“when being without your partner hurts, when minutes apart feels like hours, when you are together time goes far to quick, when you would rather have them screaming in your face than not hearing from them at all. when they tell you they love you and you know they mean it, when it makes your body warm and you feel safe. you will know when you are in love.” ❤️❤️❤️
How do you do it?
You make me fall in love with you deeper and deeper every second, every minute, every hour.
You truly make me weak at the knees, you take my breath away, you consume every inch of me.
You are my world, my everything, my soul.
I love you, I really love you. I always will love you.
What is love ?
Is it just a feeling that can not be put into words ?
For me it’s butterflies in my tummy, it’s feeling that when you with the other person, you feel complete, it’s wanting to spend every minute if possible with them. It’s feeling that you belong. It’s loosing yourself in their eyes, it’s floating on ecstasy, it’s wanting to please the other, it’s putting them before yourself, wanting their happiness above everything else.
It getting lost in each others company and missing hours just because you feel at home and content in each others company.
It’s a force of nature, pulling two souls together, them lighting up your world with a single word or smile.
Love is understanding and expecting each others faults.
It’s chemistry, lust and respect rolled into one.
Love is an emotional bond, that you have no control over.
It’s the greatest feeling in the world but also the hardest.
It’s friendship with passion.
It’s two lost souls coming together to make one.