Flashback Friday

It was one of those weeks when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold, when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.
Even though the sun shines and summer hearts rejoice in the carefree nature that the warming sun brings, winter seems to have crept into our life’s this week.
It’s been a week of fear, hope and strength.
My little girl, collapsed at school and was rushed to hospital.
I have felt fear before, every night I live with the fear that she will stop breathing and I won’t be able to help her, that I won’t be able to reach her in time.
So when I got the call that she was on route to the hospital, every fear I have ever felt, came crashing down around me, suffocating me.
My baby girl was alone and in desperate need of her mummy.
I know I can’t be there 24-7, I can’t wrap her in cotton wool, she has to live her life the best she can and I can’t control every situation she faces but I so wish I could. I wish I could take everything away from her, take the pain, the breathlessness, the dizziness, the headaches, but most of all the fear. I wish she didn’t have to face a life that she has no control over, I wish she could be carefree. I would give anything and everything to be able to give her a life full of amazing health but I can’t, all I can do is give her enough love to help her through all the trails and tribulations that she faces.
I love being a single mum, the pride I feel is worth every minute of hard work being a single mum brings but at times like these, I wish I had Ross’s hand to hold, his whispers in my ear, that she’s going to ok, like he once did when she was so desperately sick as a newborn.
Facing this alone is extremely hard at times, the waiting while she’s in surgery, is a nightmare come true, the silence is deafening, the fear is intoxicating.
So after having a valve replaced, she’s home where she belongs and I really couldn’t be more grateful.
The sun is once again shining upon us. ā˜€ļø
I’m more than grateful this week is over, I truly never want to face a week like it ever again.
All I can say is thank F*** it’s Friday, which of course means one thing, it’s time to rewind back the hand of time and to reminisce happier times.
So I’ll leave you now and wish you a happy sun filled weekend, let the sun warm your spirit and the breeze cool your troubles.
Have a good one peeps, take care, stay safe and enjoy loads of ice cream.šŸ¦

šŸŒ¹šŸŒ¹šŸŒ¹

Dear Marly-Kate,
In the lands of fairies and dragons, Lily pads and waterfalls, the air is clear and sky’s are blue.
We dance around the brooks and sing in tune.
Our spirits sour and are hearts alight,
Our feet are feathers, so pure and light.
We sour on the autumn breeze and take flight.
Our wings a flutter, we glide so softly.
Dancing freely in the summer rays, Twirling and twisting to the sound of a new day.
The morning dew sparkles as the sunlight twinkle’s on the Lily pads and dragonflies twirl and shimmer.
The morning is alive with elegance, hope and delight.
Come dance with me on this daybreak, come be free and embrace the delights that bewitch you.
As night-time closes in and the stars begin to shine, the earth falls into harmony.
The moon light guilds our night.
Our day is drawing in and we are sleepy, our minds still carry the songs of the day.
We’re still floating and dancing, from the magical day.
And as I lay you down to sleep and kiss you good night, I wish you sweet dreams my child and turn out the light.
I whisper that I love you and at the rise of the sun is a new day,
where we can chase rainbows, ride unicorns and fly with the butterflies.
Sleep peacefully my darling Marly-Kate. I bid you good night.  ā™„

šŸ¦‹šŸ¦‹šŸ¦‹

Welcome to the week

Welcome to the week from hell.

 

This week has been playing on my mind for a few weeks now.
Not only do I have to see my main consultant to discuss surgery but it’s a huge week for hospital appointments for my family, the outcomes of these is beyond scary.
One could lad to my mum loosing her driving licence as her brain tumour is effecting her vision and having to face having more brain surgery to remove yet another tumour. I really can’t see my mum go through that again, it was distressing enough the last time and I know she is scared about going back under the knife after the heart surgeon made the biggest mistake of his life resulting in our poor mum flatlining 7 times. I fully understand why she never wants to have another operation in her life.
Also my dad’s brother is facing a fear all of his own, the big old C word is haunting our family right now, lung cancer is more than a tad frightening. Fingers crossed it’s something that can be fixed and that, the terrifying word isn’t the words he hears tomorrow.
One good thing this week though, is I’m booked in for a tattoo. I have wanted to have this tattoo done for a long time now. It holds a special meaning, but also the most heartbreaking meaning.
We are also going to design my cover up. At least that is something to look forward to. šŸ˜€
Can I press fast forward yet and let this week be over.